Search results for The strip where Little Nephew is near a lake
Rough Chuckles
10 natural language results (1304 ms)
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Charley Smuckles Suicide Watch '05 https://achewood.com/2005/11/03/title.html
[[Ray walking down a trail with a cell phone attached to his thong. He is shouting and sort of dancing]] Ray: I... Ray: LOOOOVE... Ray:YOUUUUU! <<R- R- RING!>> Ray: Whoah! What in the HELL?! [[Ray on the phone]] Ray: Pat! What in hell you want, man! I'm busy! Ray: I'm w...[[Ray walking down a trail with a cell phone attached to his thong. He is shouting and sort of dancing]] Ray: I... Ray: LOOOOVE... Ray:YOUUUUU! <<R- R- RING!>> Ray: Whoah! What in the HELL?! [[Ray on the phone]] Ray: Pat! What in hell you want, man! I'm busy! Ray: I'm walkin' around in the woods workin' on a new song, dogg! Ray: You better not be about to tell me to go watch the damn news. Ray: Well, everybody else has been lately, it seems. Ray: What? No, I won't drive you to the store! Use your own car, you chintzy bastard! Ray: Whoah, a web cam! [[cuts to POV of web cam; headline: KTV7 LIVE CHARLEY SMUCKLES SUICIDE WATCH '05. Ray is in the foreground and the car with Little Nephew is in the background, almost to the lake]] [[Ray puts the phone down]] [[Ray gets his face up really close to the webcam]] <<HONK!>> [[Ray turns around]] [[Ray looks back at the webcam with an undefinable look on his face]] [[Ray looks back at the car with his hand on his chin]] [[Ray looks back at the webcam with an expression of bemused embarassment]] {{Keep an eye out for the new Ray Smuckles song, I LOVE YOU}}
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Guest Strip by K. Thor Jensen https://achewood.com/2003/12/31/title.html
Guest Strip by K. Thor Jensen. Ten Years Later [[Dialogue is coming from behind a Circle K]] Little Nephew: Fuckin' Pass it! [[A much older Little Nephew and Philippe are shown drinking from a flask]] Little Nephew: God, you fuckin' fat hog, let me get a hit. Philippe: Chill Ne...Guest Strip by K. Thor Jensen. Ten Years Later [[Dialogue is coming from behind a Circle K]] Little Nephew: Fuckin' Pass it! [[A much older Little Nephew and Philippe are shown drinking from a flask]] Little Nephew: God, you fuckin' fat hog, let me get a hit. Philippe: Chill Nef! I'm done. Sex Funeral Little Nephew: Faggot, you killed it! [[He thows the flask at Philippe]] Philippe: Fuck! Philippe: Let's just go to the Circle K and grab a new one. Five finger style. Little Nephew: You mean steal one? Philippe: Yeah! [[Philippe and Little Nephew walk into the Circle K]] <<Ding Ding>> [[Philippe whistles a tune]] [[Little Nephew walks up to the counter]] Little Nephew: So, uh, my good sir... Could I ask from you a description of your jerkies? Store Clerk: Hey! You there! [[Philippe is shown in a mirror attempting to stuff a new bottle down his pants]] Philippe: Shit! Run! [[Little Nephew uppercut punches the store clerk]] Little Nephew: Fuck you! <<Crak!>> [[The clerk falls back into the icee machine. His glasses are askew and icee spills out onto his head. He appears dead or unconcious. Little Nephew: Oh God! Philippe: Run! [[Little Nephew and Philippe walk (or run) down the street. [[They see a sign and a broken barbed wire fence]] Danger, Abandonded Quarry, No Tresspassing [[Little Nephew and Philippe are shown at the bottom of a slope]] Little Nephew/Philippe: Huuh Huuh Huuh Philippe: You killed him, Little Nephew. You killed that guy, You could go to the Electric Chair! Little Nephew: You're just as guilty, Philippe! You're an accessory! You'll go to jail too! Philippe: I- I could turn state's evidence. There's video! If I tell the cops now, I... [[Little Nephew picks up a large rock behind Philippe]] Philippe: GASP! What are you doing with that rock? Are you going to murder me, murderer? Little Nephew: I- I don't want to Philippe! But if you rat me out, I wilL! [[Philippe also picks up a rock]] Philippe: Two can play at that game. [[Little Nephew and Philippe both hold their rocks over their heads]] [[Zoomed out shot of the quarry]] <<CHUDD>> [[The Onstad house at night]] Philippe: Noooo! [[Teodor comes in to check on Philippe who is in bed]] Teodor: Philippe? I heard a noise. Philippe: Teodor: Little Nephew and me were bad and old and we stole and cussed and I hit him witha big rock! And you Had a big party! And I stood on the drum machine manual! And Roast Beef went to the moon! And... And... Teodor: Oh, Philippe! You just had a crazy dream! Philippe: A dream? Teodor: Yes! All of that stuff was just in your head! Your subconscioius shooting off random thoughts that you saw as reality! As a matter of fact, anything that happens to your from this day might just be a dream as well! [[Teodor is exiting the room]] Teodor: Well, Goodnight. [[Phillippe sits awake in the dark. A guitar and a Billy Idol poster can be seen in the background.]]
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Chompin' Mignon on Bellagio Lake https://achewood.com/2003/05/09/title.html
[[Ray and Little Nephew are rolling the dozens]]Ray: Stand down little man and make peace with yourself!/You're just warm Winner's Cup and I'm all top Shelf! Ray: I'm a Moët Bellini all chilled up real nice,/You're a Popov martini without any ice! Ray: I'm rollin' large, makin'...[[Ray and Little Nephew are rolling the dozens]]Ray: Stand down little man and make peace with yourself!/You're just warm Winner's Cup and I'm all top Shelf! Ray: I'm a Moët Bellini all chilled up real nice,/You're a Popov martini without any ice! Ray: I'm rollin' large, makin' numbers at craps!/You're drinkin' a drink made out of wrung out Wet-Naps! Ray: Ten women approach me and whisper, "bongiorno,"/You're in your room watchin' scrambled-up porno! <<aww!>> {{the italicized "aww!" could be Ray playing his own hypeman or could be voiced by another, unseen character}} Ray: I'm chompin' mignon on Bellagio lake,/You're at Circus Circus fightin' rats with a rake! Ray: They comp me a suite and a silk lobster bib,/You get kidnapped at Binion's and sold as prime rib! [[Ray looks on, appalled at his own cruelty, as Little Nephew begins to weep]] {{alt text: fighting rats as in vermin in the rooms and halls}} {{title: Chompin' Mignon on Bellagio Lake}}
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Ray Discovers Little Nephew https://achewood.com/2005/11/04/title.html
[[Caption: KTV7 LIVE CHARLEY SMUCKLES SUICIDE WATCH '05 Ray is shown on the screen looking at the car containing Little Nephew, who is very slowly driving into a lake.]] [[Ray turns back to the camera.]] [[Ray's hand/paw appears over the camera.]] [[The camera is pointed down ...[[Caption: KTV7 LIVE CHARLEY SMUCKLES SUICIDE WATCH '05 Ray is shown on the screen looking at the car containing Little Nephew, who is very slowly driving into a lake.]] [[Ray turns back to the camera.]] [[Ray's hand/paw appears over the camera.]] [[The camera is pointed down at Ray's junk (aka his Rad Chilies).]] [[The screen shows grass.]] [[The screen shows grass.]] [[The caption atop the panels is gone, as we are live with Ray, who is standing outside Little Nephew's car's driver's side window.]] [[Ray walks to the front driver's side wheel and puts his hand on it.]] [[Ray pops the wheel off the car.]] <<Sound of wheel snapping off car>> [[Ray snaps off the rear driver's side wheel.]] <<Sound of wheel snapping off car>> [[Ray grasps the rear brake assembly.]] [[Ray pulls the rear axle out from under the car.]] <<Sound of metal scraping>> {{alt-text: I don't care what you say or who you thought you knew you were - - Ray Smuckles is destroying this car.}}
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Guest Strip by Andrice Arp / www.hi-horse.com https://achewood.com/2003/12/26/title.html
{{guest strip by Andrice Arp of hi-horse titled 'Some Haiku for Achewood'}} Roast Beef: Inexorably | sadness descends, unfailing. | meets its mark always {{drawing of Teodor cooking but distracted by a middle finger, presumably Lyle's}} Teodor: Districated by Lyle | balsamic re...{{guest strip by Andrice Arp of hi-horse titled 'Some Haiku for Achewood'}} Roast Beef: Inexorably | sadness descends, unfailing. | meets its mark always {{drawing of Teodor cooking but distracted by a middle finger, presumably Lyle's}} Teodor: Districated by Lyle | balsamic reduction burned | dinner is ruined {{Little Nephew cries | he is mature for his age | but kids are still kids}} Roast Beef: aww Ray man you kind | of went too far He is like | only a preteen Ray: Dang, Beef, He was all | up in my shit! What was I | supposed to do, dogg? {{A cat, peaceful, sleeps | one and a half Vicodin | a fifth of Jim Beam}}
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European Vacation 1 https://achewood.com/2003/07/04/title.html
{{Chris's European vacation strip}} Narrator: Ray making a fool of himself in Krakow, Poland Narrator: Philippe, high above Vienna, on the world's largest Ferris wheel Narrator: Roast Beef with map in Pots-damer Piatz, Berlin, Germany Narrator: Little Nephew, angry that all I...{{Chris's European vacation strip}} Narrator: Ray making a fool of himself in Krakow, Poland Narrator: Philippe, high above Vienna, on the world's largest Ferris wheel Narrator: Roast Beef with map in Pots-damer Piatz, Berlin, Germany Narrator: Little Nephew, angry that all I want to do in Munich is watch German Sesame Street Narrator: Philippe, stowed away on the train to Budapest Narrator: Ray making a fool of himself in Warsaw, Poland [[Panel with Roast Beef still looking confused in Potsdamer Piatz]] {{alt-text: Philippe, for some reason, always appears as a stuffed animal version of himself}}
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0134b — Highway to Hellmouth https://www.patreon.com/Achewood/posts/0134b-highway-to-133873719
Image 1: 0134b — Highway To Hellmouth [[A bespectacled, mustached character makes air quotes.]] Original source of Ray’s air quotes fingers [[The hand is shown alone.]] Carefully excised and ready to go Fine, I’ll take an Uber! Make it an Uber Green, Johnny Crappleshed. My pa...
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Ray sees Téodor as intellectual https://achewood.com/2005/11/08/title.html
[[Teodor and Ray are out jogging]] Teodor: You grounded him without even knowing what he was doing out there? Ray: No teenage boy has ever done anything wise near a lake. Ray: It's my safest course of action. Teodor: How long's he grounded for? Ray: Oh, couple hours. I'll ma...[[Teodor and Ray are out jogging]] Teodor: You grounded him without even knowing what he was doing out there? Ray: No teenage boy has ever done anything wise near a lake. Ray: It's my safest course of action. Teodor: How long's he grounded for? Ray: Oh, couple hours. I'll make him some Spaghetti's Dad tonight. It's our little ritual - let's him know he's off the hook. Teodor: Huh! What's in Spaghetti's Dad? Ray: A steak. Teodor: A steak on top of spaghetti? Ray: There's no spaghetti. Teodor: In your taxonomy, steak is the logical ancestor of spaghetti? Ray: Teodor, when you talk that way, I feel like I'm sitting on the nozzle of a big metal tank that says YALE. [[Roast Beef standing near Ray, who is dragging a large metal tank that says YALE.]] Beef: Ray please man don't do this Ray: i got to do this ... [[Ray lowers himself onto the nozzle of the tank]] Ray: Teodor ... would want it ... this waaaay. {{Title: Ray sees Teodor as intellectual.}}
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The Party: Day XVIII: Little Nephew https://achewood.com/2002/04/04/title.html
Ray: Little nephew! What are you doing here? Ray: You should be at home, practicing your musical instrument! Run along now! Little Nephew: But, Uncle Ray! I want to party like you do! I want to get my Bone on! Ray: <<GASP>> {{alt text: Tomorrow is the man-to-man talk}}
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Lassie.com https://achewood.com/2005/10/24/title.html
[[Ray paints a wall. Lassie.com comes running]] Lassie.com: ARF! AFF! RAFF! [[Ray crouches]] Ray: What? What is it, Lassie.com?! Lassie.com: RAFF! ARF! AFF! Ray: Little NEPHEW? In the jacuzzi?! Oh my god! Lassie.com: RAFF! [[Ray races down the hall in an uncharacterist...[[Ray paints a wall. Lassie.com comes running]] Lassie.com: ARF! AFF! RAFF! [[Ray crouches]] Ray: What? What is it, Lassie.com?! Lassie.com: RAFF! ARF! AFF! Ray: Little NEPHEW? In the jacuzzi?! Oh my god! Lassie.com: RAFF! [[Ray races down the hall in an uncharacteristic sprint]] Ray: noooOOOOOO! [[Ray points angrily at Little Nephew. Little Nephew stands in the jacuzzi, holding his swim trunks out with one hand and photographing their contents with the other]] Ray: Hey, dammit! We TALKED about this! {{Alt: They had agreed that things like thsi were not good for Little Nephew's future prospects.}}
